Using Faith to Rise Above Adversity with Dr. Betsy Guerra

Whether you believe in a higher power or not, we all experience difficult periods in our lives where it’s hard to be optimistic and hopeful. It’s easy to give up and feel like there is no way out. Yet, the right mindset and the right outlook can change everything. In today’s episode, Dr. Betsy Guerra joins us to share how she was able to rise above adversity and even transform a negative experience into a positive one.

In 2013, Betsy lost her young daughter in a tragic accident. The level of grief Betsy experienced almost broke her, but she chose to believe in God and use her pain as a path to healing, rather than remaining stuck in suffering forever. Loss, grief, and pain are experienced differently when you have hope and when you’re not alone. What seems like the END may become a new beginning and an opportunity for growth and happiness.

Through her journey, Betsy combined her clinical expertise as a licensed psychologist with her personal experience of pain, to create the most powerful approach in helping others rise above adversity. One of the tools she teaches is F.A.I.T.H. which she explains in depth in this episode.

Betsy is an inspiration for others who are going through a tough time in their lives. Join us to learn more about her personal experience with loss and how she was able to transform her hurt into hope. Listen in!

In this Decide It’s Your Turn episode, you will learn:

  • About the tragedy that changed Betsy life forever
  • The difference between pain and suffering
  • The phrase Betsy clung onto during her hardship
  • Ways you should speak to your subconsious mind
  • Betsy’s book “Hope to Happy” and her message to those in pain

A Woman of Faith

[2:06]

Faith has defined Betsy’s life and lifted her. Faith is what provides you hope and allows you to try one more time. When there’s hope, life continues, and there’s a possibility of something better in the future.

[4:23]

Betsy lost her daughter unexpectedly. She still doesn’t know what happened or how it happened because she was right next to her. She doesn’t understand, and Betsy chooses to believe it’s okay, and she doesn’t need to know what happened.

[8:00]

She recognized that it wasn’t her who had the strength, and it was God giving her the strength to get through the problems. The ones who are never happy again are those who choose to honor their loved ones through tears and suffering. They believe that the more they crying, suffering, and grieving, the more they are expressing their love. Those who are happy again find different ways of honoring their loved ones. They choose to honor through love and gratitude. They continue to rise as they love and in the name of love.

[10:54]

Your subconscious mind doesn’t know how to differentiate truth from fantasy, desire from reality, goal from reality. When you make a decision, you’re telling your subconscious mind, “I will rise to overcome this problem that I made. I will heal my relationship, my heart, soul, myself”. And the subconscious mind will believe you. It doesn’t need to have defenses against yourself, and it believes whatever you tell it, which is why it’s so important to guard your mind and our words.

Giving People Hope

[21:36]

Your pain is not different than other people’s pain. The cause of the pain might be different, but the pain itself is the same. And the greatest pain you’ll ever live and experience is yours. Your pain matters. You get to honor and appreciate it. Feel it, live it, and then learn how to rise above it.

F.A.I.T.H.

[23:34]

We need faith to have that hope that will allow us to keep on trying.

F – Fertilizing Pain. Fertilizers are made of shit. And pain feels like crap. But like fertilizers, pain nourishes us, and it strengthens us. It’s the foundation for growth. It allows us to rise above adversity because we’re so uncomfortable in pain that we’re willing to do whatever it takes to get rid of it.

A – Acceptance. The five stages of grief say that the last stage of grief is acceptance. But for Betsy, the first stage of grief after accepting pain as a fertilizer and feeling that pain is acceptance. Striving to accept what it is as-is. Acceptance is not a place we arrive at, and acceptance is a proactive action that we must take. What’s important is to be aware of that moment, that trigger, and be connected to your body.

I – Interpretation. Life is an interpretation and it’s neither positive nor negative – it’s neutral. If we understand that what causes pain is not reality, it becomes easier to reframe the experience. You always have to feel the feelings first to allow yourself to change.

T – Team. Surround yourself with the right people who are going to elevate you.

H – Habits. When we are in pain, we’re using our prefrontal cortex where all the brain’s executive functions are thinking, processing, and decision-making. We’re using all of it to cope, stay alive, and survive. We need our basal ganglia, where the habits are activated in the brain. Having habits that serve you and support you will allow you to continue operating at a functional level.

Being Judged by Others

[47:59]

Betsy says that she was judged all the time. When someone says something that is far from feeling sad, upset, or disappointed, Betsy feels bad for them. But she was surrounded by people who served her well. Most people of faith, the people around her lifted her and validated her desire to move forward.

[56:59]

Surround yourself with the people who are where you would like to be, not where you are.

About Dr. Betsy Guerra:

Dr. Betsy Guerra is a trilingual psychotherapist, professional speaker, and author of Hurt 2 Hope. She is a devoted wife, mother of four, and, above all, a woman of faith.

She has been in clinical practice for over 20 years, but when her daughter died unexpectedly in 2013, her business was transformed. She went from elevating couples to embodying hope for people grieving and training coaches to support them wisely.

Betsy combined her clinical expertise with her personal experience of pain (and a sprinkle of faith!), to create the most powerful approach in helping clients rise above adversity. She teaches how to use even the most excruciating pain as the path to healing and joy, rather than remaining stuck in suffering as a destination.

Regardless of the challenge, Betsy has a gift for helping you transform your hurt into hope, as you become the better version of yourself God created you to be.

@betterwithbetsy
@hurt2hope_
betterwithbetsy.com
hurt2hope.com

Show notes for Using FAITH to Rise Above Adversity:

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