Why I Pay for My Friends
In this episode:
Success coach and former professional golfer, Christina Lecuyer talks about an unpopular, but extremely beneficial tactic of “paying for her friends”. In this podcast, Christina explains what this looks like and how it can change your entire life.
Christina Lecuyer’s Bio:
Christina Lecuyer is a former Professional Golfer, a three-time reality television competitor, Confidence + Mindset Coach, Motivational Speaker, and Founder of Women with C.L.A.S.S. Mastermind, as well as Decide It’s Your Turn: Women’s Weekend. Christina’s mission in life is to empower people to fully live in their purpose, confidently and successfully!
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Full Episode Transcript:
Hey y’all, welcome back to the Decide It’s Your Turn Podcast! Today I wanted to talk to you about a decision I have been making over and over and over for the last four years. And I actually talked about this decision, numerous times on other podcasts. But, for those of you who are new to my podcast and perhaps have not heard me talk about it, I wanted to bring it up here right from the get go. This is definitely one of the first few podcasts that I have recorded, and I know for a fact that when I have talked about this subject on other people’s podcasts, it is triggering AF. Ummm… and that’s why I wanted to do it today. I’ll be honest with you, because I think it is so important and it has probably been the most drastic, beneficial decision that I have been making over the last four years. And I want every one of you to hear it from my mouth to your ears. So HOPEFULLY someone out there, who has never heard this before, will actually take action and make a similar decision. Because, like I said, it is probably one of the most life changing decisions I have made. And that decision, is paying for my friends. YEP, you heard it right, I absolutely, 100% pay for my friends. And it has been THE BEST decision I’ve probably ever made. Well, perhaps besides marrying my husband. But besides that — and um, changing my whole life around. But we’re going to get into that in a whole other podcast. BUT paying for my friends has been part of the ways that I have taken my life 1-80 in the last ten years.
I truly believe that paying for your friends — is the way I describe it to my clients and on other podcasts is, it’s almost like online dating. You take a pool of people that can just be anyone, and you narrow it down based upon characteristics that you want in your life — the people that you want to be surrounded by. So, you definitely haven’t only heard this from my lips, I mean this is just a known fact. Every mindset, growth, you know, confidence guru on the planet will tell you that who you surround yourself [with] is a very, massive determining factor of the success of your own life. And I have found and I know many of you are probably thinking this out there as well because I hear it from so many of you. I cannot find people to surround myself with that are high vibrational. I cannot find people who think the same as me, have goals the same as me, who want amazing, epic, beautiful lives. I just can’t find those people near me. Like, how do you find those people?! And my answer to you is well, sometimes, you gotta pay for them.
And I will tell you, it has been a triggering thing when I say that. So, if you’re new here and you don’t know who I am — first, please — don’t skip over to
someone else’s podcast. Stick around. Because I PROMISE YOU, this really does matter. And has been instrumental in my life. And I say this, almost in tears. Because I’m thinking about a handful of people who I paid to be a part of programs. — Mastermind programs. For those of you who don’t know what a mastermind is, it’s just a like minded group of people coming together to accelerate growth. Basically, think about a sorority or a fraternity. You paid to hangout with certain people you wanted to be around. You know, if you’re in business, and you’re a part of a business group that you have to pay some sort of fee to be a part. That’s the exact same thing. It is, you know, someone has said before, it’s kinda like Jesus and the disciples in some regard where um, you know, people they were all together sharing good ideas, high vibration. If you have a negative thought, or a though pattern that doesn’t align with the group of people that you’re in, chances are that you’ll probably leave. And uh, I know for a fact the people I have PAID to be around in the last four years, have absolutely, 100% transformed my life.
I now realized that things I never even knew were possible, are totally possible. The people that I used to look at going, “oh my gosh I could never be like them”. I’m like, that is a freaking LIE that I told myself! Because now that I’m hanging out with them, now that they’re friends and confidants, I see what they’re doing. It’s just giving me proof that I can do it too. And I want you to know that at any point in time, YOU can decide it’s your turn. The whole premise of this podcast is for you to realize, that you can decide it’s your turn at any point in life. And there is nothing wrong with paying to be a part of a group of people that you want to be around. That you want to learn from. You want to know what they’re doing. You know, this past year, in my Women with Class Mastermind, I had a woman — I actually called her out. But I actually called her out in a beautiful way. Because I said to her, I see what you’re doing. You have joined like every mastermind and ever coaching program — everything that you could possibly join this year, to figure out what you like the best. — To get all the ideas and all the inspiration, and take what you like, and create your own program. I told her that. “I see what you’re doing, and I think it’s brilliant.”
Like, she had enough confidence and guts in herself to know that like, I’m going to drop like $50 grand this year, but guess what it’s going to do? It’s going to make it a lot easier for me to find the high vibrational people. Where my people are, what I want to accomplish, who I want to be around. I want to
know what they are doing, that I need to do too. And, she paid for that. She paid a pretty sum. And guess what? She definitely made it back, and I’m so proud of this woman. But, I truly do believe that sometimes, we have to make a sacrifice for something that we want. I remember the first investment that I ever made. It was supposed to be a ninety-day commitment. It was close to $20,000. When I made that investment for the very first time, I promise you, I have never been more scared in my life. I wanted to cry, and run away, and regretted the decision from the moment I did it. BUT, it turned out to be one of the most beautiful decisions I ever made. And I’m not telling you that the program was flawless and I learned everything I needed to know. And oh my gosh, everything was perfect. — It was actually a little bit of a shit show, to be honest with you. BUT, I will tell you, nothing has put my back more against the wall then that decision. And, I keep making those decisions.
I always tell people who are following me on social media, @bechristina, is never hire a coach that doesn’t have a coach. Or never hire a coach that isn’t a part of some growth accelerator/program, kind of like a mastermind, or has really strong people in her team, or in his team. Because, I’m telling you, there is nothing that is going to fast-forward your life. I promise you, that bag that you buy, that upgraded car, that wardrobe — whatever it is that you spend your money on, it is not going to accelerate you as quickly as you would be accelerated to where you want to go — fully living in your purpose. Fully deciding that it is your turn to do that thing that is in your heart and on your mind and you know you need to chase, than surrounding yourself with people who are doing something similar.
There is not one material item, I promise you, that will make you feel the way you feel when you’re surrounded by a high vibrational circle. And I just got off the phone this morning with one of my accountability partners who I met by doing a mastermind. And I literally want to break down in tears right now just thinking about, oh my god, if I never did that investment and I never met this
person, my life wouldn’t even be as close as fulfilling. My business wouldn’t be going where it’s going. I wouldn’t be where I am without the people that I’ve surround myself with. And it took me saying, “I’m deciding that I’m going to invest an amount of money” — I don’t care if for you it’s $100 or $100,000. Whatever it is that you need to do, to be a part of a group of humans who are going to hold you accountable, going to show you what is possible. Going to motivate you. Going to be someone that you can call when shit is hitting the
fan. Be someone that you can call to celebrate a win when the people, perhaps closest in your life, have no idea what you want to do. And they don’t celebrate the way the people in your tribe, that you paid to be a part of, would celebrate. — Because they know how hard doing something in life is.
I don’t care if you’re an athlete listening to this. I don’t care if you’re a person in business. I don’t care if you’re a stay at home mom. I don’t care if you’re in the coaching industry. I don’t care what it is that you’re doing. But… or losing
weight, that’s a perfect example as well. You know, if you are surrounding yourself with people who don’t get it, who are wanting you to stay the same. — And there’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what you want to do. [pause] I’m just going to say it! Chances are, if you want to stay the same, you’re probably not going to be listening to this podcast. So, you aren’t my people anyways, which is SO beautiful. So, if you ARE my people, and you have been on the fence of “Do I invest in myself?”, “Do I take this risk?”, “Do I surround myself with people who are doing the things that I want to do?”, I am giving you so much permission, because you don’t need it from me, cause you already know. But if you’ve heard that I’ve done it, and you’ve heard that I would like, cut my left arm off before I would stop investing to be a part of circles where people are high vibrational — doing the amazing, epic things that I am obsessed with doing on a daily basis. If you needed to hear from me that it’s okay to do that, I am 100% giving you all the permission in the world.
Because, being a part of a tribe of human beings who are going to celebrate you, and hold you accountable, and show you what is possible, is the BEST investment you will EVER make. Hands down. I know that to be true. For me at least. And for multiple of my clients, and friends, and accountability partners. I’ll tell you, it is just magical. And I guarantee, that is probably the thing that has fast forwarded my life so quickly over the last four or five years. Going from unsure, not listening to my soul. From doing something that I truly didn’t need to be doing anymore, to absolutely thriving! Not only in life and in business, but just in so many ways. And the people that I’m surrounded by, there’s nothing more magical on this planet.
So I am telling you today, if you have an opportunity, you see something where you’re like, “Damn, I want to be a part of that tribe.” — And it’s going to cost you a little bit. Figure it out. Every single one of us have a way to figure something out. I LOVE working with clients. I have a client right now who
wants to join my Women with Class Mastermind, and she’s just like, “Girl, I’m just not sure how I’m going to do it. But I really want to do it.” And I’m like, “I know you’ll figure it out. I know you will. You have the drive to do it.”
She sent me a message just a day ago, and she said, “Oh my gosh girl, I had this amazing idea. I’m going to take fast action on it.” Then, she sent me a message like three days later, and she’s like, “Holy shit! I’ve already made $600 just today!” I was like, “Yep, it’s amazing what happens when you tell the universe/god source/whatever you believe — for me, it’s God. When you tell God, ‘Listen, I’m all in. I’m going to figure this out. I’m going to make it happen and I need you to help me.’ It’s amazing what happens when you ask. Have faith and take action.”
I hope today I have inspired you to find a group of friends. Find high vibrational people. If you have to follow them on social media until you can afford to go hangout with them in person, or be a part of a group online, then do it! Block everything else out and become obsessed with being around the people who are where you want to be. Who you want to be. Start showing up as that person today. Take the risk. Take the leap of faith as you want to call it. And I promise you, you will not regret it. It has been, by far, the best decision I have ever made. And I will tell you, over the last four years — yes, I will tell you the honest to God truth. I have probably spent over $100,000. And I want every one of you to hear this. The first time I spent the $18,000 dollars for ninety days. I had no idea how I was going to pay for it. I had no idea.
Do you know how many people over the years who have joined my programs have said, “I have absolutely no idea how this is going to work. But I am committed to do this.” And I PROMISE you, I have had everything from people tell me that they had an unexpected tax refund come in the mail — to a legal document come back to them saying that they were owed money. — I have had someone say that they sold something way beyond ask. I have had someone say that they were gifted the finances. Like, the stories go on and on and on.
And if you’re sitting at home and you’re listening to this right now and telling yourself that you need to stay safe, and that you can’t do that. And that only happens to other people. Well guess what, you’re probably right. Because I truly believe that what you think, becomes real. And I just REFUSE to accept
anything but exactly what I believe is possible. If I say I’m going to do something, whew, I will be honest with you. I will move heaven, and the oceans, and all of the things to make it happen. I have unwavering faith that God has amazing plans for me. And now that I have said, “Alright God, I’m fully in. I totally believe you. I’m sorry for so long I doubted you. I’m sorry for so long, I kept pushing down your voice that I heard in me, over and over and over, telling me I needed to do the thing that I was so afraid to do. And I’m so, so thankful that I did it.” And if there’s any one of you at home having a negative thought of, “I’m too late.” or “I don’t know what that is.” — ask! Ask!
I always get, “How do you know what your purpose is?” Well, what is the thing that makes you sound like me? Which, is a crazy human being. I know you can’t see me, but veins are popping out of my neck. — What is a thing that you would talk about all day long? For me, I would talk about a person living in their purpose. Being so confident. Being so alive for the thing that they want to do in this world. And then, I would ask, “What injustice do you see?” The injustice that I see every single day is a person doubting that they have greatness inside of them. Doubting that they are confident enough to do the thing that they know that they were put here to do. And if that is to, you know, be a stay at home mom, or start a business, or write a book, or lose the weight, get in the relationship, get out of the relationship — whatever the hell it is for you, y’all, quit pushing that down. Life is short. And I don’t know why I know that. — I don’t know why I know that. Hopefully that doesn’t mean that I’m going anywhere soon [with laughter]. But I do realize that life is such a fricken gift.
And on another podcast, I have not always felt this way. Oh my gosh you guys. Ten years ago, twelve years ago, I would not even come close to recognizing the person that I am today. And I HOPE ten to twelve years from now, I don’t have a snip of who this person is either. But I will tell you, if it feels half as good as what this feels like right now, and the life that I am choosing and deciding for every single day — oh, shit, it’s going to be good.
And I want you to have this exact same thing. And if it take you deciding that you’re going to pay to be in a room full of people who are just like you, who have the goals — oh, and by the way, if you’re thinking, “Well, I’m not like them.” Y’all! I had those exact same fricken thoughts. But is anyone out there thinking, “It can’t be any worse than how I’m feeling right now.” “It can’t be
any worse than walking into that room.” And perhaps all the fears that you have are true. Who knows, maybe you could walk in there and you are the stupidest person in the room. Ahhh-mazing! You have so much higher to go! Or, maybe you walk into the room and figure out that everyone else is just like you. Trying to do their best, live fully in their purpose, trying to figure out how to navigate this thing we call life. Y’all, it cannot be any worse than the way I felt for so many years, pushing down what I knew I had to live out. Which was helping people live a life of confidence and purpose. And all of the magical shit that is now my life. That I get to do every single day with my clients and my people, and now on this podcast. So, if this is the first time that you’re hearing this, know that I have not always been this way.
I had a life that externally looked pretty damn good. But internally, I was a hot fucking mess let me tell you. But you can turn it around. And is it easy? Oh my God, no. No, it is not easy! But it is so fricken worth it. This life is worth it. And one of the ways I did it was by surrounding myself with epic human beings who are doing shit I wanted to do. And I had to tell myself that even if I didn’t feel like one of those people in the beginning, I sure as shit was going to pay the money, to be in the room, to get the friends, to learn from the people. And guess what? I paid the money, I got in the room, and I discovered that they didn’t have anything that I didn’t have. That’s it. I got in the rooms and realized that I’m just as fucking unicorn magical as they are. And so are you.
But, it took me spending a butt-ton of money, and I’m still doing it, don’t get me wrong. Because now that I’m friends with all these high vibrational people, there’s no way in hell I’m going to be around low vibrational people. There’s no way in hell. I’d rather — and I’ve used this analogy a million times — all my clients are laughing because they know what comes next. But, if you have not heard me say this before, I would rather lock myself in a dark room than go out for wine with low vibe people who are chatting about all the reasons why the world hates them, and they can’t do anything, and the world’s against them, and all the things. Those are not my people. I don’t pay to be in rooms with those kinds of people. And if you’re that type of person, you can change, if you want to. But again, you’re probably not listening to this podcast. [with laughter] If you’re that type of person.
But if you ARE surrounded with the people who want to go, and bitch, and moan… and be low vibe, I give you full permission to lock yourself in the closet. Guess what? When you’re making big changes in your life, it can sometimes be really really lonely in the beginning. But guess what? We do hard things. Hard things is what we do. — Hard things is what we do. That is something you’re going to hear on this podcast over and over and over again. That is a story for a WHOLE other podcast. My husband actually gave me that line while I was climbing Killamanjaro last year.
But, all that to be said, the point of this podcast is, you can decide at any point in time it is your turn. And, if one of the decisions has to be made, that you have got to find a high vibrational group of people who are going to support you, and give you life, and allow you to know that everything that you want to accomplish is 100% in you — because perhaps they have all been doing it ahead of you — that just means that they’re one step ahead of you. And that just means that it’s possible for you too.
So, I’m allowing you, I’m giving you the permission, if you need it from me, to PAY for your friends. PAY to get in the rooms. And if you have any questions on some good rooms, ya know, send me a message here in the show notes. Feel free to send us an email, or come say hello to me at @bechristina — because I encourage you to just be. But that’s a whole other podcast as well… I’m so excited. There’s so much to talk about. But, come say hi to me. I will help you navigate the best room to be in. For you to live so fully in your purpose. And always decide it’s your turn to live a life that you absolutely love.
Until next time, y’all.