Overcoming A Victim Mentality

The stories we tell ourselves have the ability to help us overcome a victim mentality, or keep us stuck in its habitual cycle. In this episode, Christina sits down with co-founder and head coach of Enlifted, Mark England, to walk through how to switch the narrative on the stories we tell ourselves and take the power back in our lives.

In this Decide It’s Your Turn episode, you will learn:

  • The ‘Emotional Detoxification’ exercise that changed everything for Mark
  • The four influences our internal dialog has on our lives 
  • What it means to have a victim mentality 
  • How your breath is connected to emotional regulation within your body
  • The Soft-Talk Challenge

A Change of Plans 


With a dream to go to Thailand to further his professional kickboxing career, plans quickly changed when Mark found himself undergoing his second knee surgery after only being there for six months. 


When things don’t work out as we envisioned, it’s easy to feel as if we’ve “failed” and adopt a victim mentality. 


You have a choice to either continue to tell yourself the same stories, or you have the power to change the negative narrative playing out in your mind. 

The Stories We Tell Ourselves 


After participating in an “emotional detoxification” exercise, Mark experienced the powerful question of ‘Is there a story you’ve been stuck on?’, that changes the trajectory of his own life. 


The stories we tell ourselves have the power to help us or continue to hurt us. 


The four influences our internal dialog has on our lives:

  1. Imagination
  2. Feelings and Emotions
  3. Posture
  4. Breathing 

The Victim Mentality 


A victim mentality is when someone tends to regard themselves as the victim of the negative actions of others even in the absence of clear evidence. 


The victim mentality solely depends on a habitual thought process. 


Your breath has the capability to emotionally regulate your body, and help you slow down your thought process. 

Steps to Change Your Language 


Indecision is more detrimental to your mindset than making decisions. 


The Soft-Talk Challenge:

Write down these phrases, and keep them somewhere you can see them. When we remove these words from our everyday language, we have the strength to change the narrative of the stories we tell ourselves:


  • Think
  • Might
  • Maybe
  • Guess
  • Almost Like
  • Sort Of
  • Kind Of
  • Should
  • Possibly
  • Probably
  • One Day
  • Hopefully
  • Try


These phrases keep us stuck, rather than our mindset moving forward. 


When you begin to remove the above ‘soft-talk’ words from your language you will start to build your confidence. 

About Mark England:

Mark England is a TEDx speaker and co-founder and head coach of Enlifted. He has been researching, coaching and presenting on the power of words and stories for the past 15 years. Mark holds a master degree in education and was an elementary school P.E. teacher before getting into personal development.

Discover more about Mark’s services on his website 

Show notes for Overcoming A Victim Mentality:

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If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating on iTunes and leave us a comment about what you’d like us to talk about that will help you realize that at any moment, any day, you too can decide, it’s your turn!