Are You Done With Your Own B.S and Holding Yourself Back?

In this episode: 

This week, Christina gives us five honest truths about the most common stories that we tell ourselves of why we’re not stepping into our purposes, why we’re not starting that business, why we’re not doing the thing. If you’re tired of your own excuses, listen in and begin to develop a different mindset of why you CAN do what you were meant to do. 

Christina Lecuyer’s Bio:

Christina Lecuyer is a former Professional Golfer, a three-time reality television competitor, Confidence + Mindset Coach, Motivational Speaker, and Founder of Women with C.L.A.S.S. Mastermind, as well as Decide It’s Your Turn: Women’s Weekend. Christina’s mission in life is to empower people to fully live in their purpose, confidently and successfully! 

Resources and Links:

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating on iTunes and leave us a comment about what you’d like us to talk about that will help you realize that at any moment, any day, you too can decide, it’s your turn!

Full Episode Transcript on Why You’re Holding Yourself Back:

Christina: Hey, y’all welcome back to the Decide It’s Your Turn podcast! Today’s a solo episode. I want to talk to you about something that has been coming up time and time again with a few of my clients. 

I’ve experienced it over and over and over and over. I don’t think it’s going to go away! A lot of people come to me in my business, the coaching, the masterminds, retreats, all the things for business. A lot of people come to me wanting to step into their purpose and create a business behind it. 

So today’s podcast is going to be a little bit about the overcomings that we ALL deal with in our business. No matter if we have just started out, whether we’re just thinking about it or we’re making seven figures in business, I don’t care what it is. Most of us are going to have to keep overcoming a few of these obstacles. 

Now here’s the thing: if you are listening to this podcast and you’re totally not into building a business or doing your own business, but perhaps you work in a business…most people have a job, most people work in some sort of business. 

Hopefully a lot of this will be beneficial for you as well, because, in my personal opinion, it’s a lot about mindset, a lot about not only the strategy and the actual building blocks to a business, but the mental blocks we all have to overcome in being successful in life. 

And a lot of these things are going to apply to many other areas but today I am probably specifically going to be talking about them in the business realm, because again, like I said, so many people come to me wanting to step into their purpose. And a lot of times that turns into building some sort of business in order to serve others with their purpose. So, what I wanted to talk about today are the main four to five things that come up very consistently with someone wanting to step into their purpose and yet feeling scared to do so.

So a few of the things that have come up over the years, it’s a very much a recurring thing and I kind of wanted to talk about a few of these things. 

So let’s just dive right in. 

So one of the main things I get over and over and over again, when someone wants to start a business or do something, is that “Well, there’s other people doing it. And how can I do something if someone’s already doing it?” 

For instance, a perfect example is the health and wellness industry, the fitness industry, there are 897 billion trainers in the world. 

Am I right? 

You can just go online and you can find every Tom, Dick and Harry who is creating an online fitness program, pretty and diet program, all of the things.

Here’s the thing: there’s 897,000 of these people and a vast, vast percentage of them are doing well! They’ve created a business around it. It doesn’t mean that you can’t do it. All it means is it’s proof that you CAN do it. 

Like it is truly perfect. Guess what? If Tom, Dick and Harry are doing it, that means that you can do it as well. But so many people believe just because someone else is doing it, for instance, my industry, beautiful industry, there’s a thousand million coaches out there. They’re not a thousand. There’s much more than that. There’s probably a thousand and a thousand mile radius, but there’s a million coaches out there, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t be successful.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful. All it means is that it’s proof that you can do it too. 

Here’s what I know for sure. A hundred percent. And you may believe me, or you may not, but let’s think about it. There are people on this planet that would literally hire you over hiring Oprah. And I know that sounds so random, but it’s kind of true.

If you are a person that does not resonate at all with Oprah’s story, but you have found someone that, Oh my God, everything they say you’re just like, “Yes, me. Oh my God. You’re reading my mind!” Chances are you’re going to hire that person above someone else. And that is a hundred percent proof that you absolutely can do something that someone else has already done.

Someone is going to resonate with YOUR story, YOUR coaching, YOUR personality, YOUR techniques, YOUR strategy more than anyone else’s. 

So you saying I can’t do something because it’s already been done by someone else is absolutely a bullshit lie that you’re telling yourself to keep you safe. 

Most of the things that I’m going to be talking to you about today are just lies that you’re telling yourself to keep you safe because we as human beings, that’s what our brains were created for. Our brains were created to keep us safe, right? If you go back to like the Stone Age, everything we did was, “Let’s stay safe so we aren’t getting eaten by animals” or whatever it may be. But we don’t live in that world anymore.

So right now, you telling yourself that there’s too many people in this industry, and there’s no way that you can make it – that’s just keeping yourself safe from doing the thing that is actually going to set your soul on fire. And you guys have heard me say it before, but I truly do believe it is your responsibility if you feel something in your heart or in your soul to do and you not doing it because there’s too many other people doing it, you’re really not living your responsibility. 

And I believe we were all given a godly responsibility to leave that out. And so you saying, and you telling yourself the excuse, “Well, there’s just too many other people doing it” is actually a bold face lie because someone needs your story. Someone needs your strategy. Someone needs you to step into your purpose to serve them. 

So that’s number one. 

Number two, the thing that I get so often, and this is funny that I’m saying it back to back with the fitness industry or the coaching industry, but so many people believe they need a certification to do something.

You literally are holding yourself back because you’re like “Well, I don’t have the certification needed to do X, Y, and Z. Sometimes, you’re right. You do need a certification. I am not suggesting that you go out tomorrow and pretend to be a physical therapist without some sort of degree. But I also believe, too, that if you have 20 years experience of having someone work on you and you’re a professional athlete and you think you can serve someone in a specific way with your specific talents, with your history, with your ideologies, how you have been able to serve yourself, then you absolutely can do something. 

So I get told all the time, “I’m definitely not a life coach. I’ve never branded myself as that nor will I ever. It’s just not what I believe I do.” Confidence and success coach, I guess you can put that in a life coaching business, coaching umbrella, but overall, a lot of people say, “Oh, I want to get into life coaching. Oh, okay. But I can’t because I don’t have a certification.”

I’ll be honest with you guys, there’s only been one time in my career over the last five years that I’ve been doing this full time that someone has ever said, “Well, what certification do you have?” And the only reason why they ask me is because they were wondering what certifications they needed to have in order to do this.

Honestly you guys, 99.9% of my clients buy the transformation that I am able to give them, they are buying the transformation of where I was versus where I am now. They know that I am the roadmap and I have the tools and strategies and techniques and guidance to get them from where I was to where I am now.

That is usually what people are buying. So you telling yourself that you need all the certifications in order to do something is again, probably keeping you safe from doing the thing that you are actually meant to do. 

Now, this doesn’t mean that every Tom Dick and Harry should jump into coaching tomorrow and just like brand themselves as a coach and all of the things without having some history, some roadmaps, some certification, not even just certification, but some sort of experience and education on how to get a person from A to B.

Over the last five years I’ve invested over a hundred thousand dollars in myself. I currently have a coach. I’ve worked with three other coaches. I’ve been in two masterminds. I’ve taken probably, gosh, I can’t even count all of the online courses and groups that I’ve been in and the lectures that I’ve gone to, the podcasts that I’ve listened to, the books, thousands of books that I’ve read to try to gain education to help not only myself make the transformation, but now pour that into my clients. 

So there is a big difference between having a certification in order to do something and then having the experience to get a person from A to B. This was a beautiful example. I was hosting a retreat and there was a woman at our retreat who said she couldn’t do something because she didn’t have a certification and one of the other members at the retreats had something that was so brilliant. 

She said, “Okay, great, go buy the certificate online. It’s about a hundred dollars, slap it on your wall and do the damn thing.” And it was literally this mic drop or whatever. I was like, “Oh, burn!” Because it’s so true.

Right. It’s like, Fuck! If you’re telling yourself the reason why you can’t do it is because you don’t have the certification, go get the fucking certification and quit holding yourself back because you don’t have it. And I thought that was so brilliant. Like, again, it really truly was the fact that she was not wanting to step into the fear and she used the certification from holding herself back. 

This woman is a beautiful soul who can truly serve so many people with her experience and what she’s been able to do for herself. But she was holding herself back because she didn’t have the certification so that other woman just called her out and said, perfect, go buy the certificate. It takes you a couple of weeks, slap it on your wall and do the damn thing. 

And it was beautiful. I loved it. It’s so, so true. 

So if you believe you need the certification and that is the one thing holding you back from stepping into your purpose, go get the fucking certification and roll on. Quit telling yourself you can’t do it. 

All right. Another one that a lot of people come to me with is perfectionism. Let’s be honest. You guys probably know by now I am a Type A personality, a strong three Enneagram, very extroverted, very much a people person, all the things. 

And I do have a tendency to want to be perfect. I do have a tendency to want to do everything right and be in control and make it perfect and not screw up in all the things. 

But, you guys, I am far from fucking perfect. You are far from perfect. And if that is what is holding you back from stepping into your purpose, from serving others, from living that responsibility, you got to get over that perfectionism because guess what you are going to fuck up.

You are not going to do it perfect all the time. You are not perfect at anything. None of us are. Honestly, it’s a really, really, really, really shitty way to live a lot of times. If you’re a perfectionist listening to this podcast, you feel me, right? You know how hard it is to try to do everything for everyone. 

And it has to be the most immaculate website and everything has to work and it has to be checked over 97,000 times before you put it out or publish it or do all the things. That is just holding yourself back. That is just holding yourself back from greatness.

As you know, my husband is in, well, if you don’t know, if you’re new here, welcome, but I’ve done a few podcasts with my husband and my husband is a real estate-construction-guru guy. And over the years of growing his company, he has had to learn that he can’t do it all. 

But he can’t do everything himself and it can’t always be perfect. So he has had to really employ, and he didn’t create this. It’s written in a thousand business books, mindset books, all the things books.

If someone else can do something 80% as good as you, you need to let them do it. And sometimes that is a really good rule for yourself in your own business. If you are truly trying to build your business and you are taking on more and more every day, you can sometimes only do 80% and it’s never going to be perfect.

Something that Nathan has always said, I’ve learned this from my husband and I just believe it to be so, so true is he will always make it right. It’s not going to be perfect in the industry that he works in, construction. It’s not always going to be perfect. There’s shit always going to be going wrong.

But you work in that industry and you have a thousand different subcontractors working for you and literally shit hits the fan on a daily basis. He knows that it’s never going to be perfect. But one thing that he has always said is “I will always make it right. I will always make it right. It may not be perfect, but I will always make it right.” 

And I think that that is just such a beautiful analogy, right? It’s like in our businesses, if you want things to be perfect when you’re starting your business and you’re setting out and you are expecting it to be perfect, you are holding yourself back from actually fucking doing something because it’s never going to be perfect.

You’re going to screw something up. It happens to me all the time in my business. I have sent people the wrong invoices, the wrong dates, the wrong links. I have said, I’m going to do something one day. Fuck. I do it in a whole ‘nother day. I try my best, but you know, me holding myself back because it has to be perfect every single time. It has to be the right color, the right font, the right date, the right writing, all of the things. 

Doing this podcast is another beautiful example. If I held myself back until everything was perfect. Oh my God, I would’ve never done it. You know, it doesn’t mean you slack, but it also means you give yourself the grace to make it right when you can.

So if you’re believing that starting the business, everything has to be perfect. The sales page, the webpage, your business cards, your font, your colors, your clients, whatever the fuck it is, you’re holding yourself back again from stepping into your purpose to serve people, using your responsibility to serve others.

So, number one, you’re not perfect. Get over it. You’re a human fucking being doing a human thing. You’re going to be fine and being perfect is like number one, overrated because it’s not fucking possible. 

And number two, it’s really, really miserable. And if you are a perfectionist, you realize that trying to be perfect is truly actually making you miserable. And if you are a perfectionist who has not yet figured out that you’re actually miserable by being a perfectionist. Girlfriend, boyfriend, let me tell you, you are miserable, but you’re trying to be perfect. So give it up now from a former recovering perfectionist. 

All right. Next one. You guys, the next one I think is so, so important in actually doing the damn thing, and that is actually doing the damn thing. 

The action behind the doing! So many people, especially in the beginning of self-development, I find that so many people hold themselves back because they’re learning all the things.

And let me tell you, I was that person for a very long time, too. I was a consumer of everything when I first started to dive into the growth mindset, dive into the infinite possibilities that we control our life and that we control our thoughts and we can literally manifest our whole entire lives.

And I find it so interesting because in the beginning, all you want to do is consume, just consume, consume, consume. I listened to every podcast, read thousands of books, went to all of the conferences, YouTubed my way through so much. And there’s a point in time for that, but I’ll also tell you within the last, probably three years, if I’m a hundred percent honest, I probably only read like three to five books in three years. And I used to read like a book a week, like dead-freaking-serious because now I need to be the creator.

I know all the things. Now, it’s a matter of taking action on all the things. 

I have a wonderful human being in my mastermind and last year. It was so interesting, she was in my mastermind last year. She’s in it this year. And she told me, she said, “Christina, I am exactly where I need to be. But I will tell you the biggest mistake I made last year was just consuming and not acting.” There are so many people in this mastermind that I was with last year that are so much further along in their journey and their business and all the things.

And the ONLY difference is they took action while I was just consuming and that is probably one of the biggest things that I will tell you is if you are listening to this podcast and you were in the beginning of your business, you’re in the beginning of a journey. You’re in the beginning of all the things.

Please remember action trumps most things. I always, always, always preach that it’s action and safe and playing the long game. Those are the three things that have absolutely 100% changed my life and my business, is the fact that I am always taking constant action. I’m playing the long game. I’m always thinking so far in advance that instant gratification isn’t even a thing to me anymore because I’m like, ‘Okay, that’s cool.”

But like, what can we do in three, five years from now? What can we do a year from now? If I do this for 365 days, cool, what’s going to show up? What’s going to happen? And that’s about taking action and always playing the long game. Always being willing to do whatever it takes to keep playing the long game.

So. A hundred percent, please, please, please hear me. If you hear one thing on this podcast today, whether you’re building a business, whether you’re doing whatever it is that you want to do, action matters so much. 

We live in a society where instant gratification is a thing. But I think so many people doubt that consistent action, even over a year…You guys, this is a crazy, crazy example. I hope you’re going to love it. I actually heard it on the podcast with a woman I totally dig. She’s a former sports agent. I think actually she’s a current sports agent. I should probably know that answer, but her name is Molly Fletcher. You could go listen to her podcast. It’s really, it’s an amazing podcast.

It’s called Game Changers. I’d love to have her on my podcast. Feel free to share this with Molly if you perhaps know her.

But she was talking to a gentleman named Arthur Blank. He is actually the owner of the Atlanta Falcons. I was listening to this podcast and something stood out in this podcast that literally made me stop and rewind.

He’s the owner of the Atlanta Falcons and he was actually the creator of Home Depot. You all know Home Depot, I won’t explain that. That would be stupid. I’m totally here for calling myself out.

So perhaps yeah, actually don’t send this to Molly Fletcher, but anyway, back to the story, cause this is very, very much true. So I was listening to this podcast and he said something like, ‘Yeah, 35 years ago, I created Home Depot and dah, dah, dah.” And I literally hit pause and I was like, “What? Did he literally just say?”

It was something around like 30 to 40 years. And I was like, “What?” Pause that, rewind that. I’m like, “Holy shit, Nathan! He created Home Depot right around the year that you were born and now he is worth like $8 billion.” I’m like, that’s such a short amount of time. In your lifetime this man has created $7 billion worth of wealth in such a short period of time. If I told you right now, 40 years from now, hopefully you’re in your twenties to fifties, 40 years from now, you wouldn’t be worth $7 billion! That’s nothing. Absolutely nothing. In my opinion, I just believe that like, we totally forget playing the long game and we forget how much Epic shit can happen in that period of time.

Like in the period of time that my husband has been on this planet. This man created $7 billion worth of wealth. He started a store and now it’s worth $7 billion and yes, he has other businesses, all the things, but irrelevant. It’s just like 40 something years. That’s nothing! $7 billion. Right. I know I’m harping on this, but like, to me, my mind, like just spun cause I looked at my husband. I was like, “Holy shit. He created $7 billion in the time that you’ve been on the planet.” 

So I’m just telling you, take the action. Be willing to be very consistent and play the long game. I just think it’s so grossly overrated. And I know I really harped on that one, but I hope you liked this story, even though I told it like a fricking a three-year-old child telling a story.

I apologize, but I hope you get it. Home Depot, $7 billion, playing the long game and taking action. 

All right. Amazing. 

Oh, the next one, the next one that I think holds people back the most probably all of them. Well, I don’t know all of them, but definitely a big one is they don’t know all the steps so they’re afraid to take one step. 

Now this story that I’m going to share with you, this story I know really well because I was the creator of this story. 

So I was in the nail salon a couple of weeks ago and my nail guy who I’ve been going to LITERALLY before I even started playing professional golf, let alone the coaching industry.

A total of 15 years back when I was definitely not the person that I am today. He’s sitting in the nail salon two weeks ago and he goes, “Oh my God, I cannot believe you do all the things that you do that you’re able to do in a day. How do you all manage it? Do you not get yourself scared? How are you able to do this? I can’t believe you do all these things.” 

And I looked at him and I was like, “Dude. I didn’t know that I was going to be able to do all these things 15 years ago.” If I would have thought about all the shit I do now in my business, let alone my life, but my business, I would’ve never have fucking started because it would have been so overwhelming that I wouldn’t have known literally how to wake up 15 years ago, let alone do the shit that I do now.

The employees that I have, the list goes on and on and on about what I do now. But had you told me 15 years ago that I would have been having to do the shit that I do today, 15 years ago, there’s no fucking way I would have started. And there’s no way that I would’ve known what I have to do today, 15 years ago. There’s just no possible way. 

BUT how many people does that actually stop because they don’t know all of the fucking steps? When I first started in this, Oh my God. It’s hilarious. And people, that’s why I was so shocked that my nail guy asked me that question. Cause I was like, um, “I’m so confused. You’ve known me since the very beginning. So like how do you not know, because I have no fucking idea. I just had taken steps. I just had to take some action. I just had to be willing to keep showing up and pivoting and learning and growing and falling flat on my face.

So, that’s the whole thing, right? In the beginning you have no idea how it’s going to turn out. You have no idea where it’s going to go. I literally didn’t, gosh, so many times I pivoted, I pivoted from golf to corporate golf, to television, to coaching, and then it wasn’t even the same coaching in the beginning.

Then I thought I was going to do some stuff in the health and wellness and fitness, all the fucking things before like five years ago where I got a little bit more clarity. But I didn’t know all the steps. You’re never going to know all the steps. The only thing you have to know is putting one foot in front of the other.

You have to be willing to take one more action step. One more action step. And sometimes you do not know what the step tomorrow is going to be, but you have to be willing to take the one step today. 

So if you are so afraid to start something and you’re so worried about needing to know all the steps, I promise you, there’s not one fucking person on the planet, not even Arthur Blank starting Home Depot, he did not know all the fucking steps. No one knows all the steps. But you have to be willing to take the one step and then the one step and then the one step. And sometimes it’s four steps back, two steps forward, but you have to be willing to take that. 

And I think that’s just where a lot of people get so confused and a lot of people stop themselves from doing the damn thing, because they’re so worried about knowing the whole entire path. 

So I promise you if you’re willing to take one step, the next step will always present itself and you’ll figure it out. And you know, I’ve talked about this on another podcast over and over, but there’s no wrong decisions and there’s no wrong steps.

You literally take a step, figure it out. “Okay. Shit. I’m not going to do that one again. Let’s pivot. Let’s take the next step in a different direction.” There’s no wrong decisions. There’s no wrong steps. You’ll learn from it. I promise you. I promise you. I promise you. 

Okay. All right. Let’s end on this last one, because I think this one is coming up. This one comes up for so many people, and I know that there is definitely a woo woo sense to this one. Who doesn’t love a good woo woo. Well, the little manifestation, higher vibe, all the things. 

But guys, sometimes it’s just going to be hard. Literally, I truly do believe that so many people are really afraid to start something and live in their purpose because they’re like, “Oh fuck, that’s going to be really hard. So I’m just not going to do that, dude.” 

I’m so fucking confused. You know that it’s going to be hard. There’s going to be some hard things. Even the woo woo, people were like, everything is magical. I totally do succumb to a lot of that now that I do realize the easier you can make it, the easier it becomes and all the things.

But there’s going to be some hard parts. There’s going to be some suck. There’s going to be some, “I want to quit. This is fucking miserable. What the hell am I doing?” type of moments. But guess what? That’s like if you were raised in believing life is never going to be hard. Everything’s going to be easy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You were probably set up for disaster because no matter what it is, business, relationships, personal, children, all the things – it’s sometimes just really fucking hard, but you have to know your why and you have to come back and being willing to keep showing up, being willing to keep taking the action, being willing to put yourself in the race position, being willing to learn.

It’s all the things, but it’s going to be hard sometimes. And honestly, if you’re totally fine and I’m not judging you, chances are, you’re not listening to this podcast, but I’m not judging you. If you’re like, “Fuck me. That’s way too hard, deuces. I’m out. I’m going to do the thing that I’ve always done. It doesn’t really light me up. It’s not really my purpose, but you know, it keeps a roof over my head and I can do whatever the fuck I want.” Then do it! 

No judgment, literally, that is to me, that’s my own problem. If I judge someone for being “lazy.” That’s probably the wound in me going, “Christina, you never let yourself be lazy. So you’re going to judge that other person for being lazy.” Now that’s a whole ‘nother podcast, but it’s a hundred percent of the truth, right? It has nothing to do with the other person, and it has everything to do with me because I look at being lazy as being a bad quality when sometimes I probably need to be a little bit more lazy, but.

Literally it doesn’t matter, if you’re not wanting to do the thing because it’s too hard. Cool. That’s on you. However, if you really do think about it and you really do want to do something and you really do believe it’s your purpose and you really do believe you can bless someone else. And you really do believe that you could be extremely blessed by doing it.

Then just accept that sometimes going to be hard, but hard things are worth it. You guys heard me say this a thousand times. This is definitely my husband’s, you know, “we do hard things.” That’s kind of like a family motto here. We do hard things, but like hard things is where joy comes. Behind every hard thing, there is so much joy, because you’re like, “Hey, fuck me, thank God that’s over.” Or you’re like, “Oh my God, I feel like an absolute rock star because that was really hard and I made it through.” And then you realize you can do even more hard things. It’s like the more hard things you do, the more you realize that, I’m fine. I can do even more hard things and I kind of want to, because it brings me joy on the other side. 

Right. So a hundred percent, sometimes living in your purpose, creating that business, doing that thing is going to be hard. Just know it is. Just know that you’re not that fucking special. It’s hard for everyone.

It’s hard for me, it’s hard for everyone on the planet who’s ever done something of relevance, of purpose. But a lot of the time it’s truly like the biggest blessings on the planet. And a lot of times they reward going back to the Arthur Blank thing, $7 billion, $7 billion worth of the rewards. Me right now, I can tell you, I’m so fucking fired up about my life and my business right now.

It is so hard some days. Oh my God. Yes. Ask my husband, ask my team. Of course it’s hard. But fuck. It’s so worth it. So I hope today’s podcast really helps you realize that like a couple of the stories that you’re telling yourself of why you’re not stepping into your purpose, why you’re not starting that business, why you’re not doing that thing, you’re actually just keeping yourself stuck and it’s normal to feel all these things, but how are you going to overcome them? How are you going to say, “You know what, the certification – that’s just holding me back. How do I get the certification?” Or “How do I say, fuck it? I don’t need one.” 

The perfectionism is totally overrated. What the hell are you doing? You’re not perfect. You’re a human being, doing a human fucking thing. You’re not going to be perfect. Cool. How can you make it right? 

There’s too many people doing it. Yeah, that’s just proof and there’s one person on this planet, and that’s going to hire you over Oprah. Don’t fucking forget that, that’s huge. That’s big, people. There’s going to be someone and I tell myself this often, there’s going to be someone that would hire me over Oprah. That’s kinda fucking trippy, but it’s probably true.

Learning to take action. Action trumps everything, take some action. Play the long game. 

You don’t need to know all the steps. You just have to know that you’re going to take one more step and you’re going to figure the next one out. 

And last but not least, sometimes it’s going to be hard. Sometimes you’re going to want to cry. Sometimes you’re gonna want to quit. But remember you can do hard things AND you can decide it’s your turn. 

I hope you loved it today, guys. I love it. I LOVE getting on this podcast. I LOVE hanging out with you. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do. Let me know what you think and until next time!