5 Ways to Build Confidence
In this episode:
Success coach and former professional golfer, Christina Lecuyer gives you the lowdown on 5 ways you can begin boosting your confidence today. She’s not saying it’s going to be easy and you likely won’t become ultra confident overnight, BUT you’ll come away with some majorly honest food for thought and 5 actionable ways you can build confidence and pave your own road to a life well loved. Now grab your notepad, we’re going on a confidence journey.
Christina Lecuyer’s Bio:
Christina Lecuyer is a former Professional Golfer, a three-time reality television competitor, Confidence + Mindset Coach, Motivational Speaker, and Founder of Women with C.L.A.S.S. Mastermind, as well as Decide It’s Your Turn: Women’s Weekend. Christina’s mission in life is to empower people to fully live in their purpose, confidently and successfully!
Resources and Links:
- Christina Lecuyer’s Website: https://christinalecuyer.com/
- Follow Us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bechristina/
- Find Us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bechristinaa
- Looking for Our Tweets?: https://twitter.com/bechristinaa
- View More Content on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6LYaHUVwD9kkepqf1Zfcyg
- Hashtags: #justbe #worthaf #livealifeyoulove
- Daily Agreement Cards: https://www.amyledin.com/DACBootcamp
- Follow Amy Ledin on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amy_ledin/
If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating on iTunes and leave us a comment about what you’d like us to talk about that will help you realize that at any moment, any day, you too can decide, it’s your turn!
Full Episode Transcript: 5 Ways to Build Confidence
[Christina Lecuyer] Hey, y’all welcome back to the Decide It’s Your Turn Podcast today! It’s just me and no guests today and I wanted to talk all about BUILDING CONFIDENCE.
As you guys know, or you may NOT know if you don’t follow me over on social media @Be_Christina, which by the way, I heard the other day, which was HILARIOUS that so many people call me “Be Christina”, “you know, your friend Be Christina.”
One of my girlfriends said to me “Yeah, you know, be Christina.” It’s hilarious. I think it’s so funny.
Let me know: Should I change my Instagram handle from @Be_Christina to my actual name, which is Christina Lecuyer. The reason why I don’t have my Instagram name is Christina Lecuyer is because who in the world knows how to spell a Lecuyer?
It’s actually “Liqui-Yay” if you say it in French. (This is just totally a side note. I hope you guys don’t mind.) The reason why my handle is actually @Be_Christina is because I encourage everyone to just be themselves.
Like, just be.
That is actually the name of my business.
My business is actually registered as Just Be LLC, which is so funny, but that was totally a side note.
Now, today we are talking, like I said, all about building confidence because I am a confidence and success coach. People come to me and a lot of people actually, believe it or not, (I don’t know why they wouldn’t), but a lot of people don’t like me because I come off very confident and cocky, but I actually find it really weird because most people who actually think that I’m confident and cocky, they actually want to be confident and kind of cocky.
Like, I’ll be honest with you.
Most people want to be confident in themselves, in their business, in their relationships, how they look, who they are as a human being. I mean, that is why I am so successful in my business is because people Google all the time.
“How to be more confident?” “Confidence coaches”
And that’s what I do.
And I love it.
I help you be more confident in your life. In your business. In your relationships. All the things!
And today, like I said, I want to give you five ways that I help my clients and how I’ve helped myself become more confident in life.
Towards the beginning of my life, I always came off confident. I had this persona about me even in college when I played professional golf. During college, my coach used to call me the intimidator because I was intimidating, I guess, on the driving range.
The funny thing is, internally, I didn’t have as much confidence as I do today and how I got to actually having real life confidence, you guys, not just like the fake kind that some people have, like real life confidence.
I’m pretty damn confident in a lot of things. And I’m going to tell you today five ways that I believe YOU TOO can become more confident in life, business, all the things.
So. Number one.
(And this was kind of something that I knew, but really came to light from one of my best friends in life, Amy Ledeen, and she talks about in her program, which is called the DAC, the Daily Agreement Cards.
She talks about keeping promises to yourself. This is absolutely monumental because we, as human beings, our confidence is built by keeping small promises to ourselves.
Think about it.
Let’s say you’re wanting to lose 10 pounds and every single day you wake up and you’re like, “Yep. Today’s the day that I’m going to eat the salad, go for a walk and stop drinking wine at night.” You get to five o’clock and you drink wine every single night. You don’t go to the gym. When you say that you’re going to go to the gym, you don’t do whatever it is that you say you’re going to do on a daily basis.
No wonder your confidence sucks in losing weight because you’ve lied to yourself all day.
If you had a best friend who was supposed to pick you up for work every single day at 7:45 AM, and that person showed up once a week on time, would you have confidence in that human being? Knowing that they were going to pick you up for work on the daily? Or, would you be making other plans in order to get a ride to work?
The answer is you’d be making other plans and you’d have no confidence in that human being.
Well, it’s exactly the same thing with your life.
YOU GUYS. If you break promises to yourself on the daily, you’re going to have no confidence in yourself. So one way to start building confidence is to keep small promises to yourself.
Amy Lundeen’s program. You can find her on Instagram @Amy_Ledin.
If you don’t know her, she has a program called the Daily Agreement Cards.
Very simple, very easy to do, to start building the confidence and start keeping those promises.
But it’s very simple. You can do the exact same thing every single day.
Pick one small thing that you are going to do. Every. Single. Damn. Day.
Why am I confident?
Because I know that when I say I’m going to do something. Come hell or high water folks, 99% of the time, I’m going to do that.
If I say, “I’m going to go to my trainer in the morning.” I AM GOING to go to my trainer in the morning.
How do I keep those small promises daily?
I put in stop losses, really: I pay my trainer the week before I book my sessions and I make sure I’m out of bed, usually two hours before I see him.
So I’m ready to go. I literally schedule it in my life.
So I am confident in knowing I am not going to break that.
I don’t know if I ever have been even late to a client call, let alone missing a client call.
There’s gotta be something really wrong if I don’t get on a call. So my clients have confidence in me that I’m going to show up.
Another way to build that confidence and keep those promises is to have accountability. I believe that this is HUGE. Like it’s a very big deal to have accountability.
I pay my coach a lot of money. I am going to show up to those calls every single time she tells me to do something. I am going to do that. I know that if I say I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it.
I keep small promises to myself.
You know, there are a few areas in my life that I’m not as confident in. One example would be probably my eating habits. I do break small promises to myself, but really when I’m focused in and I REALLY want to do something, I use a stop loss of the Daily Agreement Cards, or I have friends that are holding me accountable.
I do a lot of challenges with them. I did a challenge last year, a 45-day no alcohol, no granola, no sweets, no protein bar challenge and it really wasn’t even about weight loss.
(And the sad thing is, you guys, I didn’t lose a fucking pound doing that. I don’t know how it’s possible. Does that kind of piss anyone else off? It pissed me off to be honest with you.)
BUT the girls that I did it with said, well, “You probably didn’t need to lose a ton of weight if you didn’t actually lose weight doing this process.”
But that’s a side note, but I did have a stop-loss. I did have accountability in doing that. So that is number one, keeping small promises to yourself.
All right. Number two.
The willingness to SHOW UP, builds confidence.
All right. Here’s what I mean.
If you are willing to do something hard (no matter what that hard thing is for you) whether that’s run a marathon or run a half a marathon or hell even run a mile, if you’re willing to do something that is hard for you, you are building your confidence muscle.
Every single time you step outside your comfort zone, you are building confidence.
It’s like a muscle, you guys. You HAVE to use it.
We live in a really crazy, screwed up world, in my opinion, in the fact that the world tells you to stay saf. Stay safe, stay in your bubble. Don’t do anything that’s outside of that bubble.
You guys, that’s the way we were born. Right?
Naturally our brain, back in the day was like, stay safe, stay away from animals that will kill you, eat all the time to make sure you have enough food.
Back in the day shit – where you were literally trying to stay alive.
We’re not trying to just stay alive anymore, folks! So we have to do things outside of our comfort zone because that’s how we build confidence.
Confidence is the willingness to show up.
Let’s say you have a really hard time showing your face on social media. You find it very scary to jump on Instagram and show people your face.
I have a ton of clients who’ve come to me in the beginning, whether they come to me for building confidence in themselves, they’re working on their mindset or they’re wanting to build a business. They’re like, “Oh my God, I cannot do social media.” I’m like, “Okay, perfect, amazing. We’re going to do social media.”
That’s why they pay me. That’s why they show up. They want me to push them outside of their comfort zone to make sure they’re building confidence.
Trust me, folks. I promise you that if you are afraid to jump on social media and every single day, you push yourself to do a small post, to do a little story. Then one day, Oh my God! You show your fucking face and you figure out that you’re not going to die.
Literally you’re not going to die. I promise you.
But what you are going to do is one year from now, one month from now, even, you are going to be more confident in yourself because you did something that was hard for you.
Over and over and over. And then you realize, “Wait, I can do another hard thing!” Then maybe the next hard thing is offering up one of your services.
You know, I’ve done so many things in life. Like my husband and I, our motto is “we do hard things.” When we do hard things, it pushes us to do the next hard thing.
I actually realize now that my life is truly going to be made up of doing hard things.
The more hard things I do, the more amazingness that will be in my life. I promise you it’s the coolest thing ever because behind every hard thing is truly magic.
Think about the hardest things that you’ve ever done in your life.
You guys, I promise you that you have actually been more confident and stronger on the other side of those things.
That is actually the key to life! It’s the magic! The magic is the hard, shitty things sometimes because when you cross that hurdle, you’re like, “Damnn, I’m the fucking boss. Look at me! I can do another hard thing!”
I promise you last year I climbed Kilimanjaro and I’ll tell you what: I felt like a fucking rock star coming home! Cause I’m like, “YES! I did it. I summited! HELL YES! I didn’t die. What else can I do?”
I would love to do something else now that pushes myself outside of that comfort zone.I can’t remember how long I was there. I think like 14 days or something like that.
So those 14 days were exhilarating! They’re amazing! They were hard as shit! I wanted to cry! I was cold! It was miserable!!
But my God, when I got home, I’m like, “Oh my God, that was the best thing ever.”
You guys know. Right.
If any women are listening here, I haven’t had children, but every woman is like, “Oh my God, it was the best thing ever!” But then like when you’re going through it, you’re like, “This is fucking miserable!”
Right? That’s exactly the way it is. Do the hard thing because behind that hard thing is confidence being built.
So that was number two, the willingness to SHOW UP builds confidence.
All right. Number three.
I think this is very, very important. You guys know if you’re new here, you’re going to hear this over and over and over!!
Action builds confidence.
And what do I mean by that? Playing the long game, taking action.
This is huge. So many people can read all the things and hear all the podcasts and listen to all of the YouTube videos and read all of the books, but at the end of the day, if you’re not taking action, that confidence isn’t going to be built.
You may know all the things. You may know EVERYTHING. I guarantee you, if you’re one of those people who have read every fucking book on the planet, because I was you a long time ago, where I read all the things!
(Honestly, lately I haven’t read more than five books in the last two years.)
In the beginning stages of my self-development journey, I guarantee you, I was reading a book a week, if not more. But then I realized, “Holy shit, I know all the things but I have to take some fucking action or I’m just going to be a person in the exact same fucking spot.” Literally I just know more, but I’m in the exact same spot.
Action builds confidence because every time you take that action, it’s kind of like the willingness to show up.
Action builds confidence, playing the long game.
Oh my God, you guys. Who here wants to be like, “Yeahhh, so I ate a salad three times today. I’m just so fucking confused because I haven’t lost three pounds. What’s going on here..?”
Like me getting on the StairMaster after Christmas holidays being like, “I’ve done the StairMaster for three days, why is my ass not high again? I’m so confused, what’s going on here?”
But it’s because it’s the long game.
It doesn’t feel right when you go back to the gym and you’re like, “Oh, my God, I’ve taken two weeks off, but I’ve gone to the gym for like literally 15 years. Why does it feel like I’ve never been here?”
Because it’s the long game. It’s the consistency. It’s continuing to take action. Right?
I’m going to look back a year from now and I’ll be like, “OHH, damn. Okay. I get it. Awesome. I’ve definitely made some progress.”
LONG GAME 👏🏼 LONG GAME 👏🏼 LONG GAME 👏🏼 LONG GAME
That builds confidence. Knowing that the results are not going to happen overnight. Sometimes God opens these massive doors, never when we expect them and we can literally be fast-forward-blasted-ahead more than we could possibly imagine.
But a lot of the time, you know, it’s the small things – every single day. It’s taking the action, having the faith and playing the long game that builds confidence.
It’s the willingness to stay in it that builds confidence, right? Literally willing to stay in it, no matter what. I am not talking about quitting. EVER.
(I might have a bad day and we can talk all about that on a different podcast of how to get out of your bad day, by the way. Leave me a message or send me a DM if we definitely need to do a podcast on that, how to get out of a bad day.)
But playing the long game, having consistent action, literally builds confidence. Because tomorrow is going to be a new day and you’re going to show up and you’re going to keep doing the things that are literally building the confidence in your head that, guess what? I’m not going anywhere, folks.
Like I know that, I know that I know that I am here for the long run.
I am here for the long game.
I don’t care what you throw to me. I am going to be fine. I am going to make it.
And the minute, (obviously this podcast is all about deciding!) the minute that you decide that you don’t waiver off that.
I have literally DECIDED that this podcast is going to be forever and it’s amazing and it’s going to be awesome and Top 500 and all the fucking things.
And I’m just going to keep taking action on that until it becomes a reality. That’s where I’m at folks.
And that is my confidence muscle that I have been testing for such a long time, knowing that that is going to be true.
And I’m here for the long run until that fucking happens.
All right. Number four.
And this is a good one. You guys, care less about what people think.
I know this is so hard.
I go down these roads too, every once in a while, I catch myself in the comparison trap and I can get myself out of it so much faster.
You guys, I’ve been on this journey for a long time.
Now I know that that is just like doing me no favors and it’s not building my confidence by comparing myself to someone else when I don’t even know the fucking full story.
Like by the way, social media is such bullshit for so many people. (Debate momentarily) You know what, I’m competent as fuck. I can say this, you guys, I’m the real fucking deal.
Like, I’ll be honest with you, 90% of the shit that you see in my life is real. I show you the hard stuff. I show you the craziness overall.
My life is pretty amazing because I fucking decided it, but yeah, I am a shit show sometimes.And I’m totally good with that. But I don’t really care what everyone else is doing because I am so decided on my life and I’m so happy from the life that I’ve chosen, even though my life is not perfect.
And it’s hard.
And I want to cry and like all the things, but at the end of the day, one hundred percent, I just don’t really give two shits what everyone else is doing, because I’m really in love with my life.
I really love my marriage. I love my clients. I love what I get to do. Like, I love where I live. I am choosing that you guys. I am choosing that. I’m deciding that. And so I don’t really care what everyone else is doing.
And if you are so caught up with what everyone else is doing, DECIDE you are going to have an amazing life and ACT from that.
Like, what do you need to do right now to have an awesome life? What do you need to do? What actions do you need to take?
Blaming other people and all of the things is not going to get you there. I know that some of you are probably rolling your eyes and some of you might want to turn this off (or stop reading), but I’d encourage you not to because guess what, guys, I used to think my life was fucking dog shit.
And I probably had more “success” back in the day or, what people thought I had, being a professional athlete and on TV and all the things. But I have now created a life that I fucking love because I take action. I’ve decided it. And I’m not comparing myself any more to anyone else.
Like I used to compare myself to girls when I was playing golf who got television gigs and, you know, we’re getting the contracts and all the things.
But that was, number one, so not for me. I literally almost break down in tears thinking, “Thank you, Jesus. Literally, thank you, Lord, for not giving me the things that I thought I wanted back in the day because, Oh my God, that’s not at all what I wanted.”
This is what I want.
I’m taking the action to get what I want. Like, I love my clients. I love my husband. I love where I live. I just really love my life on the daily and it’s not even that special, but it IS because I’ve decided it, right?
So the people that you’re comparing to on the internet, number one, don’t think that everything that everyone puts out is real.
Comparing your life and your business to mine or to anyone else’s is completely irrelevant. You have no idea what I’ve done to get here. You can’t compare, if you’re someone out there who has three kids and you know, only three hours a day to work on your business, how dare you compare your business to mine.
You literally have WAY less time than I do. I don’t have kids, you know, I’m full in on this right now. I’ve been on it for four years. I’ve invested close to a hundred thousand dollars in myself. You have no idea what the back scene is.
Look at all the people online that put out that their marriages are so fucking perfect and they’re celebrities and they’ve got all these things and then they come out as having a divorce a hot second later.
I’m not saying that that doesn’t happen and I’m not saying that they’re bad and I’m not even judging that, but I’m just saying: don’t compare your life to someone else’s on the internet if you don’t know the whole thing, the whole story. Right?
That just tears down your confidence.
Literally, if someone is not in the arena with you, do not let them have an opinion.
So hear that again. If they are not in the arena with you, they don’t get an opinion.
If there’s anyone who’s starting their business or starting their self-development journey to love themselves again, I don’t only work with people in business. It’s actually probably only about 30% of business stuff.
I work with people who want to build their confidence, live a life that they fucking love, living in their purpose, change their mindset and that usually extends into their business where they start thriving.
But honestly, if that person is not in the arena with you, they don’t get an opinion. People are going to be judgy as fuck.
I have people in my family who don’t even get what I do; literally judge me left right and center.
I live in a small town. Most people think that I’m fucking crazy and have no idea what I do.
Perfect. Let them!
Until they’re in the arena with me, they don’t get a fucking opinion.
And if they are in their range and they’re still judging me, They’re just probably a bad person and I don’t want them in my life to be honest with you.
But the people who are in my life who are supporting me along the way, those are the people that are probably like, “Damn girl. I get it. It’s hard. Welcome to the hard club. Amazing. Right?”
So don’t be comparing yourself to people on the internet, in your family, in your business, all the things, unless they’ve gone through it and they get it.
Hopefully, they support you along the way. And if they don’t, eliminate those people from your life immediately.
Put up some fucking boundaries and only be surrounded by people who like absolutely freaking get it and are going to encourage you along the way, because if you will want to truly be confident and living your purpose, you’re going to need some killer boundaries because you don’t want people around you who are going to pull you down.
All right. That was number four.
Number Five in Building Confidence
Last, but not least in building your confidence.
I think this one is probably one of the most important ones for me, at least. I know many of you know that I have a strong faith that is very, very important to me.
I, personally, don’t care what you use: God, source, universe, doorknob, whatever you want. For me, it’s God.
I didn’t really grow up in a Christian faith. I said prayers, but it was just like, I recited it. Right? I didn’t have a relationship with God and I am not your traditional Christian. I am not in the church doors when they’re open. God and I, we are tight as hell. And yep. I say fuck, and he knows it.
So that’s kind of my jam. It doesn’t matter what your jam is, but I truly do believe in order to build confidence, you have to have faith.
You have to have faith in something greater than yourself because when you have faith, when you have something greater than yourself, and you can fight me till the bitter end, but every person, a hundred percent was put here for a purpose and a reason.
And you should be confident in that. You should be confident in knowing you are a fucking boss, because you were created to be one, right? Like that should give you all the confidence in the world.
I actually know that when I go to bed at night, I’m a really good person.
Am I perfect? Hell no.
Do I have weaknesses? Abso-freakin-lutely
At the end of the day, it’s all good, man. Like I go to bed, I’m like, you know what? I’m a good fucking person. I’m doing the best that I can.
When I make a mistake, I usually own up to it and I’m like, “Hey, I’m fucking human.” Welcome to the human experience, right?
So when you have faith in knowing that there’s something greater than you, you CAN be confident. Like I am so confident in my business, I’m confident in my relationships. I’m confident in general.
And that is amazing for me to be able to say you guys like that is like fucking, like, if you are like, how is she like this? Literally, you don’t know my whole story. I’d be happy to tell you and there’s probably another podcast on it that we’ve released now, but I haven’t always been like this.
And I want you to understand that if I can do it, you can do it too. I believe I’m a unicorn and I believe that if you want this, you can be a unicorn too. Most people are not willing to take the action. Most people are not willing to have skin in the game. Most people are not willing to say I’m doing hard things.
Most people break promises to themselves. Most people aren’t willing to show up.
But are you most people?
Because if you’re not most people, fuck, you’re my people! Because literally life is way too short – way, way, way too short to fuck around and not be confident and not have faith and not take action and not keep promises to yourself and not play the long game and not give two shits about what Karen on the internet or your family thinks.
Because if you are so confident in your purpose and you know that you’re here for a reason and you want joy and you want to be a blessing to other people, damn, you’re my people.
And I’m so glad that you are listening to this podcast and I hope you come back.
And if I can EVER serve you in any way, send me a DM on Instagram @Be_Christina, share this with ALL the people that you absolutely love in your life.
And until next time, guys, always remember: You too can Decide It’s Your Turn.